


It's alright.

by bunnymircea



Series: How far can we go [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Bottom Saihara Shuichi, Consent Issues, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Dubious Consent, F/M, Femdom, Introspection, Nipple Licking, Non-Penetrative Sex, Not Beta Read, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Slurs, Top Akamatsu Kaede, Trans Male Character, Trans Saihara Shuichi, Verbal Humiliation, Vibrators, afab terminology for trans male characters, gentle sex but only at first, mild but it's there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:49:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27622964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnymircea/pseuds/bunnymircea
Summary: As much as she indulges him, Shuichi knows that she’s not into it the same way he is.She enjoys making him happy. He enjoys being controlled, humiliated, hurt.
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Saihara Shuichi
Series: How far can we go [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2037565
Comments: 6
Kudos: 58





	It's alright.

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to 6k of pure saimatsu femdom erotica, let's go.
> 
> heed the tags, don't say i didn't warn you, etc

“Shhh,” she shushes in a calming tone. “It's alright, Shuichi, it'll be fine. It'll feel so good, I promise”.

Shuichi only trembles in response. Sitting in the middle of the bed, the room appears much bigger and intimidating than it ever has before. Must be the timing. Must be the intimacy. Must be this game. Kaede smiles gently at him while caressing his cheek.

“It's okay, love, it's okay to be nervous. We can stop whenever you want, okay?”

He manages to nod and forces his body to relax into understanding her words. There is nothing to be afraid of, scared of, ashamed of. Kaede trusts and loves him, would never hurt him, would never force him to be uncomfortable. He lets gratitude flow through his body, helping him stop shaking despite his nervousness.

Kaede smiles wider, satisfied that his lover has stopped trembling like a leaf for the time being and kisses him chastely on the lips.

“Okay... I'm going to take your pants off”.

Shuichi can tell she's talking to him the same way you would a hurt kitten on the streets, very gently and slowly in order not to scare it away. When his body freezes and goes limp like a doll as Kaede makes him raise his butt to pull his pants down his thighs, the comparison doesn’t feel too far off.

It’s not like they haven’t had sex before of course, but the deliberate promise of being taken and ordered around as they play together with Kaede’s toy, actually creating a scene where she is supposed to dominate him is making him sweat in anticipation. It’s kind of embarrassing to admit, but the extra attention is welcomed. The patronizing implication that he needs to be guided through the scene, too.

Kaede finally discards his pants and smiles gently at him as she starts unbuttoning her own shirt.

“I’m going to undress now.”

Again, narrating everything she does before and while she does it, making sure not to startle him. Shuichi is both grateful and embarrassed at the treatment.

His embarrassment only grows as Kaede finishes taking off her shirt, her full breasts covered only by the frilly fabric of her bra. His breath hitches and he can feel wetness grow inside his boxers at the sight. It must be obvious how her naked body is affecting him because Kaede chuckles, her voice equal parts teasing and sultry when she asks:

“Do you want to suck on them, baby?”

And yeah, he— fuck yeah, he does. Who wouldn’t? Her tits are perfect, so huge, soft and milky pale except for the pink hue of her big, puffy nipples. He nods and she moves her hands to her back, unbuttoning then taking her bra off, letting it fall to the mattress and starring at him seductively as she lifts her hands to grab her tits. It’s not lost on Shuichi how she can’t even fully grasp her hands around their size. He gulps down.

She looks at him invitingly as she lifts her right breast with her hand, pointing her nipple at him, and Shuichi doesn’t need any more encouragement. He’s done this before as well, he’s had his mouth on her tits before, he can do it again and can make it good for her too. This is what he tells himself as he leans forward and suckles the pink nipple between his lips, closing his eyes, and it takes just a few small licks for it to grow hard against his eager tongue. Kaede sighs in delight. Shuichi can feel the heat grow in his lower belly and wetness spread through his underwear. It’s not like he can stop that from happening either way, so he tries to ignore his body’s reactions as he savors his lover’s nipple.

This position in itself feels erotic, Kaede kneeling while he sits, towering over him, brings light to her status in this game, ordering him around, controlling him, taking anything she wants from him. And, well, Shuichi had always known he wanted to get manhandled and pushed around. As far as he can recall, his first fantasies revolved around older women tying him up and dominating him, back when he couldn’t even feel shame about these feelings, too immature to even understand sexuality or the role he was expected to perform in them. Kaede was perceptive enough to understand what he wanted from the get-go though. Ever since they started getting physically intimate, it was like she could look straight through him, investigating his reactions with her curious, kind eyes as her inspecting hands and words would toy with him and push his buttons until the day came when Shuichi couldn’t handle it anymore and finally gathered up the courage to ask her to spank him.

He came in a matter of minutes. It was so embarrassing.

He likes when she makes him feel embarrassed though.

Still, he feels kind of bad for asking her to do these things to him. He knows she’s not into it the same way he is; he _likes_ being controlled and humiliated and hurt. She just enjoys making him happy.

It’s kind of egotistical, in a way, even though Kaede tries to reassure him that she’s fine with it, so he tries to make up for it by complying with whatever else she wants to do within these games or out. Their sexual life is starting to revolve more and more around Shuichi’s submissiveness after all, the least he can do is obey her outside of bed too, he reasons.

When he swallows around the nipple in his mouth Kaede moans softly and Shuichi gets to work.

Even though he feels hot and, well, horny, he focuses on trying to suckle slowly, carefully, allows himself to delicately lay his hands on her hips and revel on the feeling of her body heat emanating from under her skirt, her breast against his lips, her erect nipple against his tongue. Her hands travel to his scalp and gently run through his hair while he shivers and gulps downs, never letting her nipple go. God, is he slobbering? He can’t tell, but he can’t bring himself to check. He’s probably making a mess. He feels like a mess.

It’s only after a short while that Kaede cups his cheeks —are her hands that cold or is Shuichi’s face in flames? —, and takes him off her nipple to move his face against her other breast.

“C’mon”, she coos, and he doesn’t need to be told twice, he’s already latched onto her other breast. “That’s a good boy”.

The praise makes Shuichi’s clit throb inside his underwear and he moans against the nipple in his mouth. Kaede makes a noise of satisfaction, like she was expecting that reaction from him, and soon enough her hands are all over his head again. This time it’s less gentle. She pulls at his hair and then grabs his cheek with a firm hand, forcing him to look up into her eyes. Her cheeks are tinted a bright pink, which makes him think he probably looks like a tomato in comparison.

She licks her lips and smiles teasingly. _Uh oh_. He sees something move out of the corner of his eyes and turns his gaze away from Kaede. It's her hand. He nervously follows its movement with his eyes, not letting go of the nipple in his mouth because he hasn’t been told to, and watches it reach for and grab his wrist, slowly moving his hand towards her thighs, across her naked skin, upwards, under his skirt, and...

“Shuichi...” he looks back up at her. She’s gazing at him with narrowed eyes. His fingertips brush against her naked vulva as she whispers: “I didn’t wear any underwear today.”

 _Jesus_.

It’s what he thinks, but instead what escapes his mouth is a low moan and a string of spit connecting to Kaede’s nipple as his mouth falls open.

He doesn’t have time to move his hand up to feel her sex though, because Kaede laughs at his reaction and pushes him back onto the bed, playfully. Except the way she immediately goes to crawl over to him and pins him down reminds Shuichi of a predator about to devour its next meal and he has to whine at the thought. She laughs good-heartedly again, kisses him on the temple instead of eating him whole, and it’s only because of her soothing caresses over his scalp that he realizes he had started shaking once more.

“You know we don’t have to do this, right, baby?” Her voice is sultry yet kind and understanding as she leans down to speak softly near his ear. With the position they are in, having Kaede’s full breasts basically shoved into his face, Shuichi is most definitely having a hard time focusing on her words. The sane part of his brain makes him understand that the tone of her voice implies this is important though, so he tries to concentrate. “This is for fun. If you feel this is too much we can stop at any moment. You got that?”

It takes him some seconds to process her words, but she doesn’t rush him, just awaits expectantly. He blinks. Then, after a few moments, he finally nods bashfully.

She smiles again and moves to kiss him on the lips, slowly, sensually. The warmth and wetness of her mouth claims his lips, demanding he yields and lets her do. Shuichi could melt into the mattress.

She starts moving over him, confident hands ghosting over the skin of his arms as always, and as always, it’s immediately too much for a Shuichi who is way too excited about giving up control. The gentle, feather-like feeling of her fingertips against his skin feels like satin sliding down his arms, goosebumps raising all the way down his skin until their hands come into contact and their fingers lace together. Sensation and arousal, it’s all slowly traveling down, down, a familiar one-way-ticket into bliss, and yet this time the journey feels all too intense and Shuichi really has to wonder whether he’ll be able to take it all tonight. His thoughts cannot wander further, freezing the moment her lips run down his neck and send a shiver down his spine. From the hazy clouds drowning the thoughts inside his head at the top, all the way to the hot, twisting stimulation by his lower abdomen at the bottom, it’s all going down very intensely, and very, _very_ fast.

She must know the effect she has on him, because her lips curl into a smile against the sensitive skin of his neck.

“I’ll give you more”, she whispers.

It’s the answer to a request Shuichi realizes had yet to form inside his head. She reads him like an open book, always ahead of his own feelings and detached sensations, telling him what he wants and how he wants it, faster than his words, faster than his thoughts. That’s why he trusts this will be good. It’s always good with Kaede. He likes being told and given what he craves so much that he thinks even if she got it wrong, he wouldn’t mind. He’s willing to take whatever he’s given.

Kaede is busy sucking a love bite into his neck but soon enough her wet lips move to the back of his left ear, right below his jawline, where she knows she’ll make his whole body shudder. Her hot tongue produces a moan from his lips and sends a shiver running down his body, felt all the way down to his crotch where it goes to die down, forgotten amidst the dazing arousal.

She giggles at his reaction and he thinks he’d giggle too if the heavy lump in his throat would let him.

Her hands move away from his fingers to grab at the middle of his shirt. A whisper: “ _off with this_ ”, and her fingers expertly undo the buttons before his dazed mind can catch up with her movements, too preoccupied by the lost contact of her hands holding his.

She parts the fabric of his unbuttoned shirt and her mouth is back on his skin, down his neck, his clavicle, and down his chest too, drawing a slow but assured descent.

Kaede’s lips slow down by his nipples, stopping to kiss both of them, chastely. Shuichi has to look away in embarrassment and grabs a pillow by his head to hide his face behind. The contrast between the obscenity of the scene, between his hot, aroused sex and the clean, chaste kisses over his erect nipples is so _lewd_ he can’t even look at her when she lingers by his torso, peppering small, loving kisses over the scars under his chest, tracing the shape of his ribcage with light fingers.

The kisses stop and the next touch he gets is her hot tongue lapping into his navel. He jumps in surprise and she laughs again, not giving him time to process the wet touch before sliding down the bed as she continues licking down all the way to his boxers’ waistband, where she places a loud kiss, then swiftly takes the pillow away from Shuichi, both actions eliciting a surprised yelp out of him.

“Wanna look at your pretty face when I touch you”, she purrs. Then her index finger is touching him, tracing his labia through the fabric of his underwear. His hips buckle on their own.

“S-sorry”, he croaks, immediately.

Kaede just hushes him with a kiss to his thigh. “Don’t be impatient”.

He wants to add something else, but the words die in his lips at the sight of Kaede’s focused gaze, quietly observing his clothed sex in deep focus, like she’s trying to memorize the way he looks down there. Like she hasn’t fucked him a dozen times before. Shuichi doesn’t really understand what she’s thinking or what about this very specific moment and position has caught her attention, but he decides to spread his thighs a bit wider to grant her better access.

The movement takes her out of her trance, but she seems pleased, nonetheless. She blinks a couple times then looks at him while moving her finger over his sex again.

“You are soaking _wet_ ”, the way she emphasizes the last word makes Shuichi shiver more than the touch over his boxers. She grabs at the end of the piece of clothing without stopping her chatter. “You’ve soaked through your underwear, even the sheets are wet”.

With the accusation come the bold movements of her hands, pulling down the fabric of the boxers and directing her gaze at Shuichi’s naked, soft pussy mound. She licks her lips and, _God_ , he wants her fingers so bad _._ She slides the boxers off his legs completely in a couple of quick movement and moves back to facing his crotch, making Shuichi tense up when she moves her hand towards his sex only to stop at the spot on the sheets right below his ass, inspecting it. Then she brings the hand up where he can see it. The tips of her fingers are shiny with his fluids.

“Drenched the sheets, again”.

Even though he pouts in shame, Shuichi feels his pussy throb. Her tone is mortifying but it only makes it hotter. He thinks he’d probably like any form of humiliation if it was coming from Kaede.

She just smiles mischievously at him from down there, clearly satisfied with his reaction, with her face mere centimeters away from his sex and licks her lips, slowly, deliberately, her gaze intense and focused on Shuichi’s eager eyes. His breath hitches and his mind starts racing. She’s just so close, so, _so_ close, and it always feels so good when she pins him down and eats him out, ordering him to stay still as his thighs tremble on their own, calling him a good boy as he squirms and cries out.

“Poor baby, so needy down here” she coos, and then forces his thighs further open with her hands, unceremoniously, exposing his sex fully. Shuichi lets go of a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. His lower lip trembles. God, the way she has him wrapped around her finger is so arousing he thinks his mind might as well shut down.

He whines pathetically when she blows hot air onto his clit, a thick drop of hot sweat crawling down his temple and into his jawline. He wants to be touched so bad he thinks he might cry, and she’s almost there, he almost has this, her wet tongue lapping at his needy clit, any minute now, _eat me, eat me, eat me, oh please, devour me-_

There’s almost a hint of malice in her laughter as she casually raises up to a kneeling position and observes his pitiful state from above, leaving his sex unattended.

A pitiful moan leaves his lips as his eyes grow wet, and yet, in the frustration of having his pleasure denied and being looked down upon, Shuichi can only think of worshiping her.

Kaede caresses the inside of his tense thighs before he can do anything. “But we have other plans for tonight, right? We can’t have you cumming so soon”.

With that and a wink she crawls to the bedside table and starts digging around in the first drawer. On all fours like that and with her skirt raised Shuichi can see his naked vulva. It’s rosy and swollen with arousal. His mouth waters.

When she turns around, she’s holding the wand vibrator.The look in her eyes this time is less mischievous and instead hungrier. Yet, rather than jumping on Shuichi, she hands the object over to him and leans down on the bed, on her left elbow, like she’s ready to enjoy the show. Like she wants to savor her meal slowly.

“Touch it”.

Again, the tone used when presenting a kitten with a new object or environment to make sure they are comfortable and familiar with it before introducing it. Or in Shuichi's case, before being fucked silly into the mattress.

He gulps down the knot in his throat as he tentatively holds the object with his hands. It’s heavier than it looks. The handle is hard and cold to the touch and the round part at the bottom has a softer texture. He’s definitely seen and touched it before but never... in this context. And his mind is starting to feel so dizzy he might as well be holding it for the first time.

“Touch yourself with it. Without turning it on”.

This, however, is said in the kind of voice that demands to be obeyed, and Shuichi is more than happy to follow her commands. He presses the wand against his lips, spreading his wetness over it at the contact.

It feels good, so good, to have anything pressed against his throbbing pussy. He’s tempted to just start humping it because it just feels _that_ good and he’s so needy after all this foreplay, but he forces himself to look up at Kaede, awaiting next instructions.

“ _Such_ a good boy.”

He moans softly at the praise and has to look away again. She seems to like it when he shows willingness to obey and usually praises him when he does so.

“Bet your cunt felt lonely after waiting for so long without being touched. Is that why you were soaking wet, baby? Is that why my baby has drenched the sheets? Because you need me to satisfy your hungry little cunt?”

Of course, she also enjoys talking down to him and humiliating him from time to time. Shuichi moans again in response, the hand holding the object trembling, his body quivering against the rod. He wants her to be mean to him, he wants her to make fun of him, he wants to be humiliated and mocked.

“Y-you control the vibration settings, please”, is all he manages to croak out, and his voice feel feeble even before it leaves his mouth.

Kaede smiles. “Of course it won’t be you controlling it.”

Shuichi drops his gaze, not managing to look her in the eyes for long, aroused at the deliberate phrasing. _It won’t be you._ It’s so condescending. He really has no control over the situation, he’s just an object of pleasure, there to satisfy Kaede’s will. He shivers, feeling his pulse inside his head. Fuck. He doesn't think he can go through this until the end.

But Kaede just keeps talking, and he wants to keep obeying.

“Hold it in place. And don’t rub yourself against it.”

He is ordered to stay put and don’t move and Kaede pushes her bent knees under his thighs, lifting her skirt with her left hand. She moves forward until her pink, soft cunt lips press against the wand, on the opposite side of Shuichi’s hot, throbbing clit. Her eyes fall closed and her head falls back as a satisfied sigh leaves her mouth.

Shuichi didn’t think one could get paralyzed out of arousal but at the same time he genuinely doesn’t think he could run away from this even if he wanted to.

Kaede’s body is sweaty, her tits wet from his messy suckling, and her pussy lips wet and puffy, hugging the wand in between them. She’s so hot and she’s going to be fucking him so good, and his brain is really having a hard time processing any of what’s happening beyond a profound desire to be touched and taken. Shuichi knows he’s going to cum the moment she generates any friction against the object.

She seems to know it too, because she grabs his trembling hand and gently takes the wand away from him, and away from his pussy, which has him positively whimper. She chuckles.

“Can’t have you cumming too soon,” she repeats. She loves teasing him, after all. “Now watch me. And don’t touch yourself”, she adds.

This is a common order at least, which allows Shuichi’s breath to stabilize to some degree, even though he still feels like he’s frozen in place, or maybe falling apart. That’s probably for the better, he thinks, because if he was allowed or even able to move, he’s sure he’d just go and hump a pillow until he came.

No, this is a situation he is familiar with. Kaede sitting back on her ankles and turning the wand on against her wet cunt, moaning as she moves it rhythmically against her clit, lost to her own pleasure while Shuichi sits and watches quietly, his clit flushed and hot. He can’t stop looking at her cunt, lips full and tinted pink, hugging the rod in, sliding easily against it thanks to her own slickness.

When she ups the power to the next vibration level, she curses and presses it harder against her clit, moving her hips in sync with her hand, up and down, up and down. Low moans and curses leave her lips as she focuses on herself, glances at her own cunt, licks her lips and skillfully pleasures herself with the vibrator. She ups the power again, and she curses again, and lifts her skirt further up so she can better look at herself, pupils dilated, masterfully rubbing herself against the toy and thrusting her hips in sync, moaning and panting because of herself, _for_ herself, paying her clit her full attention, like her cunt is everything that matters in the world right now, and Shuichi -entranced, panting, out of breath-, feels like that must be the truth but also like he’s going to die if something, anything doesn’t touch his abandoned clit this very moment. The way she just acts like he isn’t right in front of her, leaning on his back with his legs spread open for her to see, his hot clit throbbing and painfully erect, is making him have trouble catching his own breath even when he's just laying there, ignored and untouched.

After what feels like an eternity, she looks up at him between heavy pants, and turns down the vibration to a stop.

“I wanna fuck the wand against your cunt. Is that okay with you, baby boy?”

He licks his lips but doesn’t reply and at this point he thinks maybe he can’t talk, lost too far into subspace for any clear thought to come to mind, so he just nods absentmindedly instead. Right now, he can only think of pussy and being dominated.

She smiles again and accepts the noncommittal gesture as a yes.

“Good.”

Her voice is raspy.

She forcibly shoves her bent knees under his thighs again, making his hips lift off the bed and angling his groin up. He whimpers and ends up hugging the pillow against his chest again, as if bracing himself for whatever is to come.

“Open your legs more.”

He immediately complies. He swears he can hear her mutter ‘good bitch’.

She holds the wand again, which Shuichi notices is visibly shiny from both of their fluids, and presses it against his cunt. He immediately cries out.

“Shh. It's okay. Don't cry.” She leans forward, lifting her skirt again and positioning herself on top of him. Even not daring to look beyond the pillow in his hold, he can tell she's pressing herself against the toy by the pressure of it against his sex but also by her sigh of delight. “I'm going to fuck the wand. And I'm going to fuck you with the wand. Is this okay?”

Shuichi can't fully comprehend what she’s saying as he nods, enthusiastically.

“Good.” She groans, once more.

She leans over him and starts humping the toy against him, the wand still off, but it's enough to have Shuichi close his eyes and moan. His body buckles up into the sensation. She hums her approval against his ear and warns him in a soft voice:

“I'm turning it on.” And then she does.

Shuichi yelps.

The sensation is immediately overwhelming. The toy vibrates against him, stimulating his labia and making his clit flutter deliciously. Kaede ruts against it, trying to set a rhythm like she did to herself before, alternating between shallow thrusts and circular motions with her hips, pressing the vibrator tightly against Shuichi whenever she moves forward. He doesn't know what to do except hug the pillow tighter and let himself be guided through crushing pleasure, legs arching invitingly on their own even when he’s feeling dizzier and dizzier by the moment.

Kaede though, she wants more. She flicks the switch of the toy up and Shuichi has no time to yelp this time, his eyes wide. She is relentless. Pushes against him harder than before, making him slide back against the sheets. She moans loudly, leaning further forward, her weight almost completely against Shuichi’s hips, her hips almost on top of his like this. He can feel the spasms running through her thighs on his own, both of their bodies tensing and jerking with pleasure as the toy shakes them to the core.

Shuichi’s toes curl.

It’s too much.

Like a lightbulb lighting up in the middle of a haze, a realization finally forms inside his dizzy mind: _He can’t handle this._

It _is_ too much.

He tries to move his hips, not knowing if against the rod or away from it, but he can't really choose because Kaede is kneeling on the bed, on top of him, basically riding him through the wand and pressing him further into the mattress with her movements, feeding the pressure of her weight and the vibrating toy to his eager cunt. And he is aroused, if the fluids traveling down the curve of his ass are anything to go by, but it is just _too much._

At a certain point though, Shuichi thinks he isn't in control of his body anymore, like regardless of what he wants his cunt is hungry for more and more and so he just takes the strong buckling of her lover for good measure, even though rationally he doesn’t know if he’d rather stop, unsure about what he even wants right now and unable to react to his own lack of awareness, like his mind is not fully conscious about what’s going on.

He finds himself thinking that Kaede must feel like heaven from the way she's tensing up. She's energetic about it too, and anything but shy. Her moans are loud, her words barely reaching Shuichi's dazed ears, as he lets his body enjoy the next hard thrust, the never-ending vibration that won't let him think clearly. He can understand some of what she's saying though, vaguely realizing he’s being praised, and his clit would probably throb in response if it wasn't already being ravished by the toy and her lover’s fucking.

Through it all it seems Kaede is not lost enough to her own pleasure to forget who’s below her.

He’s fully hiding his face behind the pillow by now but the touch of fingertips on his overstimulated labia has him yelp through the whiny moans that won’t stop falling out of his mouth. Kaede is delicately caressing the spot where his labia meet the toy, a strong contrast to the brute force of her thrusts. It is, nonetheless, a delightful feeling to his sex and his body arches his back as much as their position allows him to, writhing in pleasure as a heavy feeling that he can’t identify grows in his chest.

The hand that until this moment was just holding the toy starts jerking it fast, which makes Shuichi's back arch off the bed with only his shoulders and Kaede’s thighs bearing his weight. He’s positively overwhelmed by the vibration of the wand, Kaede's hip thrusts and the jerking movements of the toy. She grabs his hip with her other hand, strongly, her nails leaving marks in his skin, and at that moment, with half his body off the bed, it's like Kaede has full control of his mind and his pleasure, like he's completely at her mercy.

It feels too like his mind is not within his control, barely able to formulate vague thoughts that hardly make any sense, like _feels so good_ , _more_ , and _please stop_.

“Fucking... soaking wet”, her whispering is shaky. She’s close. “Gonna make you cum, yeah? Gonna feel so good when I make you cum”.

He doesn’t know whether she’s telling that to him or herself but at this point it doesn’t matter anymore. His mind feels blank, his heart feels heavy, his guts twist with unease. His cunt pulses against the abusing toy.

Kaede pushes him forcefully against the bed and in an instant starts to thrust against him wildly, all rhythm lost as she chases her own climax with loud, long moans, and uses Shuichi's sex as leverage for her wand to lean against, fucking it rough and feeding it to him in exchange, giving him the treatment that his cunt won't stop craving yet the rest of him wants to reject.

The words start suddenly slipping through her lips as she finally orgasms, half sentences, barely making sense, but he can make out some of her speech, half-whispered, half-muttered, as she buckles absolutely wildly against the wand, humping it eagerly and forcing it against Shuichi’s abused clit. _Take it, take it, fuck yeah, you sissy bitch, yeah, you love it, my baby, mine, mine, yes!,_

He can’t even allow himself time to process her words, too busy yelping as her hips thrust hard into his, forcefully, and it’s just too much, because her orgasm is long and she is just pressing her clit forward with more and more force through powerful jerks. Her loud pants and moans don't seem to stop and neither do her movements. Shuichi’s definitely about to come too, the unbearable pressure and heat in his lower belly making it evident that he can’t hold back anymore, but by now he can’t thrust his hips up with the heavy pressure on his cunt, let alone move anywhere else, effectively trapped between the soaked sheets and the abuse over his clit. He... he is overwhelmed and it’s all definitely too much, he can’t, he _can’t_ , and he _needs_ it to _stop_ , yet the force of it all -physical and emotional- has him pinned down, trapped like he can’t escape and the only thing he can bring himself to do is submit further and let go. His mind goes blank and he lets his thighs spread even wider, lets his upper body fall flat against the pillows, lets go of the pillow he’d been holding for support to let his hands wander down to his thighs to spread himself open and allow for _more_ , more force, more pleasure, more abuse, drool escaping his mouth as he trembles intensely through the violation, reaching orgasm as he finally bursts into tears, his heart aching, moans and empty sounds leaving his lips, uselessly babbling “please”, “fuck me”, and “fuck me _more_ ”.

Through his high, he keeps his eyes open, but he can’t focus his sight. His mind is blank, his body reacting on his own, he’s barely aware that he’s still trembling, he’s drooling, he’s sobbing, his sex is throbbing, there’s hands over him. His senses feel numb, barely able to even perceive that he’s paralyzed and overwhelmed. And throughout the over-stimulation and abuse, the vague understanding that his cunt only wants to be fed more. His guts twist in fear and discomfort.

He can’t hear the panicked voice above him over the heavy sound of his own pulse in his head and his agitated breath, nor can he bring himself to care or even understand the alarm in Kaede’s voice. Over-stimulation has driven his mind to shut down completely.

It takes a while for him to start getting a grasp of reality again, his head spinning as he tries to focus his gaze.

What happened?

Blinking a couple times, he makes up the appearance of a ceiling above him. He's in Kaede’s bedroom. Okay. His hands feel around lightly, noticing a soft texture below him. On the bed, he’s on Kaede’s bed. Yes, this makes sense. He tries to look around. Notices his breathing calming down, the drool on his lips has been cleaned. He was with Kaede. He was having sex. There's a jab of fear in his chest as he recalls that part.

_What happened?_

“Shuichi, oh God, sweetheart, are you with me?”

He looks up to see Kaede's wet eyes. She's crying? She's been crying? That's not good. He opens his lips to speak but he can’t make a sound. His mouth is dry.

As if reading his thoughts, she produces a glass of water from the bedside table. She moves to his side to help him sit up before bringing the glass to his lips.

“C'mon, you need to drink.”

Her voice is strained. He drinks.

He's still confused and a bit dazed, and his body feels too heavy to move, but still he manages to take a look at himself. He's clean and he's wearing clothes again. He can't remember Kaede changing him or touching him at all but it's obvious she did while he was passed out. Shuichi doesn’t know how he feels about it because the only emotion he can recognize in his chest right now is a vague feeling of unease. He’s not sure about what, exactly.

As he gulps down the cooling liquid, his thoughts start falling into place again, slowly. Sex, yeah. With the... the vibrator. And then it suddenly was too much and he couldn’t speak but she kept going and he let her... She... He looks up at Kaede. She hasn’t said a word, possibly afraid to interrupt his thoughts, but still looking at him expectantly like she's trying very hard to stay quiet.

“Kaede...” he croaks out.

“Are you feeling better, baby?” the response is immediate.

He gulps down. His head hurts.

“I... Yes.”

She breathes heavily through her nose and keeps looking at him, her eyes wandering rapidly between his mouth, frown, cheeks, looking for signs of something Shuichi doesn't understand.

“What happened?” he says in a tiny voice.

Kaede brings up her hand to caress his cheek, painfully gentle. She chooses her words with care.

“You... I got very into it. I was thinking of making you feel the best you'd ever felt, but I didn't stop to consider what you really wanted, it... It didn’t go… well.”

She's blaming herself.

“N-not Kaede's fault”, he’s fast to reply, sitting up straighter rapidly, in a motion that sends his mind spinning. He has to bring a hand to his temple to ground himself before continuing: “You asked me if- if it was okay. I should have told you to stop.”

A dark look settles over her eyes as he speaks. _So it wasn't okay,_ is what her gaze is saying. Shuichi curses himself internally for his lack of tact and quickly adds:

“No! What I mean is that it’s not Kaede's- it’s not... it’s not your fault.”

His voice is tiny when he stops talking, like it doesn’t want to leave his mouth. A dozen questions and a dozen apologies cross Kaede’s face, but in the end, she somehow holds back and manages to just softly say:

“Okay.”

It probably isn’t. They need to talk things out. But this will have to be enough for now and Kaede is giving him time to calm down and focus before having that conversation. She’s giving both of them time. He feels gratitude bloom in his chest and smiles shyly up to her.

They can talk later when they are both feeling better.

Shuichi closes his eyes and lets his head fall back down into the pillows, exhaustion taking him rapidly into a deep sleep. They'll work this out. It's alright. 

**Author's Note:**

> this was the first saimatsu fic i ever wrote lolz  
> leave me a comment if you enjoyed please~ I love feedback!


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